Dear ............................

The reason i wrote like this, I dont know how to explain to you, i dont know how to express my feelings,
I'll try harder to be with you again..
But each time & every second my mind will not rest..maybe you just see im already okay,
But deep inside my heart that only have is a Broken Heart..
I dont know what i did this week...I dont know what the reason i came to see..U...
The only reason i know...i just wanna try to be okay back without pretending..
But i can't...n i dont know..When i will be okay...
Im not sure...
Im not pray to be like dis...
I thaught everythin will be fine when i'll be with u...
I thaught i can grab all the happiness...But, I was wrong..
I dont know what happen to my life...
I dont know why its too complicated...
Im thingking all my fault..
I dont know you very well & i dare to be with you..
I want to apologize for everything...
Coz i dont know what will happen on tomorrow...
I dont brave to dis life again....
I dont brave to be with u again for whole my life..
Coz im scared in the ending of this relationship..my heart will broken...
Im scared...
Coz i dont know yourself very well maybe after married u , u will leave me...
Maybe after married you it will be more challenge..
And im not ready for that..Im too scared..
Coz i know definetely lets say im married u then i found out u have another girl..
& My heart will broken again..my parents will only laugh for me coz didnt hear what they have been telling me..
Now da thing its not easy oo..
Its become more complicated..
Im confuse and im scared..
Next year i already getting old become 24..All i need its dis bad luck its goin from me..
Im tired of everything..
Im regret for being stuborn since im in da primary school..
I wish i can go back to past and correct all the thing...
But i can't..
Other been i have a chance to go back to my old time..I want to become a good girl for my parents..i wnt to continue study at oversea, & have a good life..
I will listen what they hve tellin me...
I will follow everythin...
This thing no easy .....
Im regret for everything in my life..
I already make a big mistake..
By trust ppl..
I shouldnt trust anybody accept my parents..
Becoz dey know wht da best for me...
U make me feel i make a big mistake by staying dis life like dis..
U make me feel not strong anymore too..
Im trying harder...in my life...But even im tryin harder..all i get is sadness & broken heart,,,
The things its no easy anymore..
All too complicated in my mind,,,
I dont know how to explain...But its too painful what i havin rite now..
Coz i hate cry..
Cry make me feel bad..
Cry make me feel hopeless..
Cry make me feel too sad...
Cry make me feel .....Ooo gosh...i dunno how to explain...
Coz its really too bad..